Last night I was one of maybe a couple of hundred folks who had the privilege of seeing Michael Meade on his home territory of Vashon. For those not in the "know" -- Michael Meade is a mythologist, sociologist, educator, writer, poet, and "trouble-maker".
I have been in a Dark Place for about a month or more -- struggling with uncertainty, self, a "spiritual crises", issues with my community and individuals within that community -- not feeling very good. There are moments of Light -- moments of joy even, but there is a lot of yuckiness...
Michael spoke about the need for Darkness to allow us to see the polarized situations, out of which the creative individual births new ideas, creations, and evolves the world. It was good.
I am reminded of college -- of the tension I carried constantly, the Wanting -- not for things to be touched, per se, but that which is not so easily touched, but transforms.
As I am experiencing this personal Darkness -- Michael pointed to our country's current "crisis" and ventured to point to the larger issues facing our entire planet. It wasn't Fun -- and it was scary, and I was touched by it... even as I was already touched by it before I sat down... Michael just had a lot of eloquent words for what I felt.
I feel stunted and shuttered in -- unable to break out and write, create, be genuinely ME in art or things that matter to me. It is always just around the corner, after one more challenge or deadline. Never NOW, not immediate.
I am seeking fuel for that fire -- the fire that is smoldering inside.
But I am BEING in the Darkness for a while. And it is OK to be scared.
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Julie, life is full of ups and downs. During a time of prolonged down, it is hard to maintain equilibrium. It is easy to let the unhappy things take over and control you. You have to hold on to hope and the certainty that things will eventually improve. We can't wait to arrive at that magical destination where everything will be perfect. It will always be just around the corner. Let the small joys shine through and take pleasure in the good things in the here and now. Make peace with the right now and enjoy it for what it is. You will weather this storm and in the process grow from it. I know it will happen.
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteWould like to know how you're doing. Send me a note when you can. :)